Shortly after becoming a mom, my insecurities about keeping this little Monchhichi alive hit with full force. Those insecurities also came with a side of feeling judged at every turn. And then I realized I felt like a different ‘kind of mom’ depending on who was doing the judging.
Around those who were more carefree about safety, I felt like an uptight fuddy duddy when I said the 9yo wasn’t aloud to carry the baby around the room.
Around those who felt babies should always be bundled up, I felt loosey goosey and neglectful when I had her in just a onesie and socks.
And from society the judgements changed with time. I heard, ‘Breastfeed! Breastfeed! Breastfeed! Wait, she’s one? Stop Breastfeeding! Stop Breastfeeding!’
Lamenting this with my sister (mother of two) one day, I started to say, “I don’t want to be the kind of mom who…” She stopped me right there.
“You’re not the kind of mom who. You’re you. With a kid. Just be you. With a kid.”
So that’s what I’m doing. Oh sure, I’m still insecure about whether or not I’m making the right choices for my daughter, but I’ll be damned if I’ll make my decisions based on the judgements of others.
And most def, I will no longer use the ‘kind of mom’ phrase to judge other moms. I’ll let the childless do that for us.
Thank you Carolyn.