Hoighty Toighty Henny Penny

toe jam
I’m tired of the hoighty toighty know-it-all baby books that promise to tell you what no one else will tell you about having a baby.  They proclaim a sky-is-falling mentality with a side of optimism:
  • Breast feeding may make your nipples bleed, but it’s so rewarding.
  • Sex will never feel the same again, but you will get your libido back.
  • You can still get pregnant while breastfeeding (though it will be from that mediocre sex).

You know what book?  You can suck it.

Life after childbirth is not exactly how Henny Penny would have us believe.  Yes, nipples may bleed and sex may take some time and practice, but with clenched teeth, we will get through it – and both will be awesome. And, well, we may get pregnant sooner than we think, but hey, at least we’re banging again.

Here’s a little nugget I learned that I really didn’t read in a book.  Babies get toe jam.  In those teeny-tiny toes.  And it’s so cute.  Pumpkin can’t do much for herself, but her little toesies can snatch up every last piece of lint from her pjs.

And here’s something else I’ve learned.  Yes, life changes, but the sky doesn’t fall.  Things like cleaning baby toe jam become the new normal and in a few months you feel like yourself again. With toe jam to clean. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Ms. Penny.